Dining Alone

Wow! I expected one or two replies. Thank you so much for all the great suggestions. I had completely forgotten Criolla's had a bar. I've never been to Borago but it gets so much good press here I'll make it a point to try it soon.

Now, I must weigh in on the tangent. Being a solo dining veteran around here, I can attest that going in without a book is not advisable. I'm a chatty person and would definitely prefer to strike up a conversation with the bartender, sushi chef, or fellow diners...but the opportunity does not always present itself. I went to the Old Florida Fish House without a book recently, sat at the sushi bar, and because the sushi bar was so busy I waited 35 minutes for my food and the sushi chef was way to busy to make small talk. Uncomfortable in your skin is sitting in a crowded restaurant with a group of teenagers on one side and a support beam on the other, a busy staff, trying to read Bill O'Reilly's lips. Perhaps those lists are referring to people who try to read while they are actually eating. I never do that, because the whole point of eating in a good restaurant is to pay attention to the food.

Thanks for all the great ideas. If anyone else is interested -- I have found that Hurricane's Oyster Bar and Blue Buddha are both good places to go alone.

And I'd rather talk than read.

You don't have to call the kettle black...

And SJ, not all sorority girls (or wannabees) are pathetic.

I travel a lot for my job, and thus the choice for me is to eat alone at a good place or feel like I shouldn't belong and eat in my room. I'm an academic, but I also love people--so like some of you--I bring a good book, order some wonderful wine, and a meal I wouldn't cook for the family at home. I've found oyster bars great places to eat alone (sometimes I read, sometimes someone interesting will sit down near me and we'll talk.) People watching can be fun too. But some of these so-called "rules" are actually ones meant to keep singles from eating alone, particularly women (who not too long ago were never supposed to be unaccompained in public spaces like bars or restaurants.)
So, rapunzel be "transgressive"--bring a good book, order a great glass of wine and whatever you want to eat. Sowal has wonderful places to eat--have at it!

Sounds like the classic divide between introverts (those who are energized by time alone) and extroverts (those who are energized by interacting with others) bubbling over into the discussion.

Mr. Mouse and I are both fairly strong introverts, and will often go out for Sunday brunch and read the paper while waiting for the food to show up, Kind of like we're having fun together yet at the same time giving each other some space.

If anyone wants to go off on a Myers-Briggs tangent, we're both INTJs.

I'm alone A LOT (my husband is a 3-million miler). So when I have an opportunity to be with people, I'd much rather strike up a conversation with the bartender or the person at the next barstool than dive into a book. I can read a book HOME ALONE.

If you can't understand that, I dunno what to say. I guess my supposed tangent was politically incorrect. But if the topic of the thread is "Dining Alone," my many personal experiences in dining alone, combined with recommendations for doing such in the popular media, can hardly be construed as tangential.

For me, the bars at Borago, Bud & Alley's, and Shades are great places to dine alone. There's always someone to strike up an interesting conversation with. Most bartenders seem to be flattered that their customers are interested in talking to them as human beings, rather than as automatons behind a bar. I always learn something interesting while talking to them.

As SJ says, we all don't think alike. Like I've said before, I know more people who agree with me on this issue than disagree. I can't tell you how many times we've dined out, seen someone alone reading, and one of my tablemates has made a comment about how sad it is to read while dining alone. So I'm outta here on this issue. As I've said before, slam me all you want. Whatever. I'm not the only one who thinks this way.

Don't get me wrong- I have had many wonderful conversations with strangers, bartenders, and strange bartenders. I bartended a couple years in college ( had to supplement the party income!) so I can yak'em up with the best. But sometimes you don't get very lucky in available conversationalists, so the book is necessary.

Sounds like the classic divide between introverts (those who are energized by time alone) and extroverts (those who are energized by interacting with others) bubbling over into the discussion.

Mr. Mouse and I are both fairly strong introverts, and will often go out for Sunday brunch and read the paper while waiting for the food to show up, Kind of like we're having fun together yet at the same time giving each other some space.

If anyone wants to go off on a Myers-Briggs tangent, we're both INTJs.

Myers was my prof at UF in grad school until I realized that an Ed.D. in math ed was worthless if I wanted to teach at the university level, so I got Ph.D. in math and then computer science. I was an ISTJ, but have become more ESTJ as time as passed and I have had to overcompensate for my extremely introverted husband.

Are you UF alums?

...
Poor rapunzel...she just asked a simple question!!! ...

Careful SS! Do we know rapunzel is a SHE? Could be one of River Otter's long-haired Hippies!

Rapunzel!

Just this week I've read enough to teach myself XML, SMIL, SVG, MathML, XHTML, WAP, and WML.

Now Phay :roll: , I doubt that would make any lists for being pathetic. :funn:

Mr. Mouse and I went to undergrad together at Albion College. (small liberal arts college in Michigan, only Paula here has probably heard of it) then I got my MPP from University of Michigan, and he got his MFA from Michigan State.

Yeah, I know what they say about mixed marriages, but we have a shared love for Da Red Wings, so it actually works out pretty well.

Now Phay :roll: , I doubt that would make any lists for being pathetic. :funn:

Honey, I know boatloads of sh*t. People are amazed by this since I am a (subliminal message) blonde; pathetic is definitely not how people who know me describe me, fo' shizzle, my nizzle.

BTW I'm all about staying current and keeping my job (and, more important, group health insurance).

Since my husband travels a lot and both my daughters no longer live at home, eating alone presents a quandry. I do not like to watch tv and eat, so I often read. It is no fun to look at a plate of food in your home. Sometimes I eat outsdie and prefer to at restaurant where that is an option. In some restaurants, I enjoy people watching. Not staring, but observing interactions. Quite a variety of people out there.

For the record, Beach Runner, I don't mind people who want to talk versus reading a book. My problem is with you saying that people (you) think that I am pathetic if I am reading while alone at a restaurant.

Give me a break.

While on the subject, if you see a guy reading a book while dining at a table by himself in SoWal, please keep the talking to a minimum. My Mom says that I don't listen well when reading.

So I'm outta here on this issue. As I've said before, slam me all you want. Whatever. I'm not the only one who thinks this way.

BR, no one minds the different opinions. That's not the point. It was simply the way you stated with such finality that books + restaurants = pathetic. Perhaps you ought to have clarified with a "...to me." After all, one person's "pathetic" is another person's "perfect," as this thread so amply illustrates.

Different strokes for different folks.

Rapunzel,

Definitely try Borago. You'll get good service there, very friendly, attractive and the food is top notch also. Always someone ready for good conversation.

BR, no one minds the different opinions. That's not the point. It was simply the way you stated with such finality that books + restaurants = pathetic. Perhaps you ought to have clarified with a "...to me." After all, one person's "pathetic" is another person's "perfect," as this thread so amply illustrates.

Different strokes for different folks.

Yeah my Mom always says "It's not what you say but how you say it." I personally find it peaceful eating by myself. Or being by myself period!

When I see people reading a book, eating out, I think they are very secure with themselves and are enjoying some peace and quiet. I don't read personally, but I think it is a great idea!

I'm with Jdarg - the idea of a meal alone (without kids) sounds good to me. But I'll probably be at the bar, talking the bartender's ear off, making him wish I had brought a book!

I remember dining alone a few years ago at an Outback in Bethesda, Md taking a "66 Land Rover Series 3 to a buddy in Harrisburg, PA from Orlando. I had mild hearing damage driving that metal-floored beast so I was in no mood for conversation. Just after being served, I thought I'd go outside and grab a Washington Post to read while having dinner. When I came back to my table, it had been cleared by the bus boy. Guess he didn't like reading while dining either. But I managed to read the entire paper while the server got me a free replacement meal. Deal!

lol Bob--I've had stuff like that happen to me (not a good idea to take Cil's food away when I am hungry!)

Beachmouse, there are exceptions to every rule, but I tend to agree with you about how introverts/extroverts approach the dining experience.

Dining alone can be a relief to some, a trial to others, but nobody should have to feel vulnerable or alone or socially inept if they are eating solo.

I've done the eating at the bar thing, I've done the nice table by myself thing, it just depends on the kind of restaurant and how solvent I am feeling.
I've done my dining with reading material and without, but I put it away when it is time to eat. (I do like my food!)

When it comes observing fellow diners at a restaurant, I feel far more scorn and pity for someone who is loudly talking on a cellphone than I would for a person quietly enjoying a book at their meal.

>I guess my supposed tangent was politically incorrect.

screw 'political correctness' into the wall and hang a picture of red-cheeked santa drinking a frosty one on it!

HA!

Merry Christmas!


http://www.boston.com/yourlife/specials/giving/events/santa_speedo/
"BC: I bet beer tastes better in a Speedo ? especially before you?re about to run around Boston in nothing else but that.

SF: It's the weirdest thing standing in a bar with nothing on but a Speedo and a Santa Hat. You have to have some kind of buzz to do it. I myself do a couple of shots in the two-hour window before the race begins. The spectators in the bar can't contain themselves. It's a free for all. "

lol Bob--I've had stuff like that happen to me (not a good idea to take Cil's food away when I am hungry!)

Beachmouse, there are exceptions to every rule, but I tend to agree with you about how introverts/extroverts approach the dining experience.

Dining alone can be a relief to some, a trial to others, but nobody should have to feel vulnerable or alone or socially inept if they are eating solo.

I've done the eating at the bar thing, I've done the nice table by myself thing, it just depends on the kind of restaurant and how solvent I am feeling.
I've done my dining with reading material and without, but I put it away when it is time to eat. (I do like my food!)

When it comes observing fellow diners at a restaurant, I feel far more scorn and pity for someone who is loudly talking on a cellphone than I would for a person quietly enjoying a book at their meal.

I agree totally about the phone, cell or otherwise , while eating. So thoughtless unless an emergency.

Mr. Mouse and I went to undergrad together at Albion College. (small liberal arts college in Michigan, only Paula here has probably heard of it) then I got my MPP from University of Michigan, and he got his MFA from Michigan State.

Yeah, I know what they say about mixed marriages, but we have a shared love for Da Red Wings, so it actually works out pretty well.

Yup, Albion is a fine college. I have a colleague who went there and two friends of mine have sons going there. I teach one course for the MPP program every fall. The Ford School of Public Policy has a new building that will be completed this year and the Dean that has been there a while is wonderful. If you ever get back there for alumni weekend, let me know...

As for reading alone at restaurants, I think I may try doing more of that when in SoWal because it would be a great way to get to know SoWal better. I usually don't go out to eat when alone, but having a book makes it seem like more fun.

I completely dislike cell phones in restaurants as well (and in cars). I've had a cell phone for 4 years now and still don't know my cell phone number because I never give it out to people. Only my husband and kids know it and others on a need-to-know basis (e.g., the people who fixed our furnace had the number). In fact, when I teach, if a student's cell phone number goes off in class, they have to stand up and sing a song for the rest of the class. We get about one song a semester and then all the cell phones are quickly turned off.

Now Phay :roll: , I doubt that would make any lists for being pathetic. :funn:

Wait a minute. Did I miss something?